Zombie Pedestrians

Once upon a time in a land called America, schoolchildren were taught how to cross the street by their parents or their older siblings. Red light means the cars stop, and green light means the cars go. Wait for the red light and make sure the cars have stopped, look both ways, carefully cross the street. For decades, first graders across the nation successfully crossed the street without tens of thousands of dollars' worth of flashing lights and annoying beeping and counting and pictures of a cute little walking man at every stinking intersection.

Those early pedestrians understood that the cars were bigger than they were, and that they needed to pay attention to the traffic and what was going on around them; a grasp on reality that many of today's pedestrians have not yet achieved. As more and more laws are enacted on the pedestrian's behalf giving him the 'right of way', fewer and fewer pedestrians are taught what the right of way is or how it works. The phrase itself is frequently reduced to a weapon, something righteous for disgruntled have-nots to hold on to and disparagingly yell at those they perceive to be the haves.

Being granted the right of way means the legal right of one entity to proceed with precedence over others in a particular situation or place.

Here are some things that having the right of way does not mean:
  • It does not mean that cars can't crush you and bikes can't run you down and that you are invulnerable.
  • It does not mean that you have no-fault insurance; that you can't be held liable for an accident.
  • It does not mean that it is OK to dawdle your way across a six lane highway while twelve cars are waiting in the left turn lane, eight of which will have to wait for another light cycle because you are poking.
    Pedestrians expect drivers to be courteous toward them but seemingly never consider returning the favor. Hustle across the street when you can! It is OK for pedestrians to be considerate too.
  • It does not mean that you can stop paying attention to the world around you. Walking down the street staring at your phone, crossing intersections and parking lot entrances without ever looking up is both dangerous and stupid.
A wise man once noted that the only thing you know for certain when you see another driver's directional blinking, is that his directional is blinking. Similarly, the only thing you know for certain while blindly walking down the street empowered with the right of way, is that you are entitled to the right of way. You do not know if every driver and biker sees you and is willing and able in that moment to accommodate you. It is reasonable for pedestrians to expect drivers to be paying attention and it is just as reasonable for drivers to expect pedestrians to be paying attention.

Pedestrians are a part of traffic, not above it.

Not everything that looks like progress automatically is. Do the crosswalk lights and timers make us a safer society, or just lazy? Or worse? Early in the morning in Any City, USA you can find people waiting for the little walking man to give them permission to cross the street, though ten minutes have passed since the last car did. Is it a fear of getting caught crossing against the light that maintains them on the corner like zombies, or more frighteningly, did crossing against the light never even occur to them?

Perhaps the issue is neither safety nor laziness, but conditioning. Law enforcement and government routinely use tricks like pulling drivers over for not using their directional to change lanes although there was no other driver behind them to see it, to turn citizens into less thoughtful beings.

Always use your directional.
Always wait for the walking man.
Don't think.

Pedestrians have the right of way.
Don't look.

Always do what the officer says.
Don't question.


Question everything!
Look around and around!
Most of all, think, think, think!

Cross when it's safe.
Blink when it is necessary.
Enjoy the right of way and be considerate.


We're all part of the same big traffic jam. The sooner we stop honking at each other, the sooner the traffic will clear.


Hey Doc! A Little Help Please?

I did it. I turned down the Vicodin during the pre-op appointment. When he asked why, I replied, "I like it too much". Instead of considering the acknowledgement I'd just made that I am to some degree addicted to opiates, or perhaps even complimenting me on my self-restraint and self-awareness, he pressed the idea that I would need some pain relief over the weekend, and we compromised on a prescription for ten pills of something 'similar' to Vicodin.

During interactions with doctors, nurses and support staff in the hours before and after my surgery, I told five other people that I like Vicodin too much. Each time I expected them to make a note in my chart but no one did, although Heaven knows that anything else you tell them gets noted and is then impossible to get deleted, even if it is in error! Two of the medical professionals made comments along the line that there aren't enough pills in a normal post-op prescription to make a difference - meaning not enough to rekindle an addiction, which is of course completely wrong. Without exception, my obvious cry for help and support: "I like it too much" was ignored and pain killers pushed. I don't know how to tell you this Mr. President, but if you're going to kill opiate pushers, you'll need to start with two doctors, an anesthesiologist and three nurses here in my town.

Several years ago my doctor prescribed four Vicodin a day to deal with arthritis. Month after month I swallowed those along with others that I finagled from my dentist. When it became clear that the time had come to stop taking them it wasn't terribly difficult, but it wasn't easy either. If I had accepted the normal prescription of thirty Vicodin for this recent operation, by the fourth day after surgery I would have already been scheming to get more.

It's great that as a nation we have become more aware of opiate abuse. It is not great that the old white politicians always automatically assume that any problem is with the poor, the not-white and criminals. America did not get hooked on opiates by the poor, by any race more or less, or by those whom we normally label as criminals. America is hooked on opiates because of doctors and a medical industry et al. that are both compassionate and very concerned about you having a good (pain-free) experience so you won't hesitate to come again, while being unconcerned about whether or not you get hooked or re-hooked.

The proliferation and furtherance of widespread opiate addiction may be aided by a more typical 'criminal' element, but they are merely providing a supply for a demand created - and also proliferated - by the medical industry. If anything should ever be noted in one's medical chart, it is an admission of an addiction! Once noted, a cessation of offering that substance to the patient would then be in order. It is truly amazing that the very nice and otherwise competent people that saw me through this surgery, and the medical industry in general are getting this so very wrong.

I did it - I turned down the Vicodin. Good for me. Hey medical industry - how 'bout a little help next time?

Hey Mr. President - killing opiate dealers will wipe out the all medical professionals; got another idea?



A graduate of Portland State University, Steve (Reeno) Kloser is the author of Beginning Band - A Guide to Success and Let's Make Music - Classroom Recorder Course. He is also an accomplished teacher, conductor and composer, having penned numerous pieces including La Vida and Fly With Me.

Teacher, web developer, Packers fan and proud American, Reeno's usually slanted outlook often presents an unlikely perspective on issues old and new.
Reeno currently lives in Portland, OR.


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